Packed and Ready

On the edge of a new chapter

Life at Large

We are now back in Porto after more than two months away, six weeks of which was spent with my family in Nelson. The days flew by, filled with time with my parents, hanging out with my brother, visiting friends, and spring yard work.

As I mentioned in previous posts, we successfully launched By Happenstance: the stories of my parents before they were my parents into the world. As more people read the book, Mom and Dad are enjoying hearing their thoughts and impressions. In some cases, it has given readers pause to reflect on their own life’s path – risks taken, opportunities missed, and what they’ve learned from it all. I think, at the end of the day, that is how family stories connect with people well beyond the circle of relatives one may think of as “the family”.

The whole book experience also created an opportunity to connect with relatives we see infrequently, as well as people with loose ties to our family and the places we’ve lived. It added a layer of nostalgia and discovery to our time in Canada beyond our usual experiences.

Now that Michal and I are back home in Porto, we are laser-focused on the next big thing – tomorrow we are scheduled to sign the final documents and take possession of our new apartment!

To say our anticipation levels are high would be a gross understatement.

Even so, we aren’t entirely sure what the process will look like. We are currently camped out in the rental apartment we’ve called home for the past three years – many thanks to our landlady, who has been beyond generous and flexible with us during this period of uncertainty. We anticipate having the keys by end of day tomorrow, but we don’t know that for sure. In the meantime, we can’t yet book the van we need to move the dining set and heavier boxes, so we don’t know exactly when we will be able to move in. That means we have everything tidily packed in boxes, including the items we need for daily life – EU adapters for laptops, basic kitchen utensils, etc – remains in limbo for an undetermined number of days.

This morning, I endeavoured to make breakfast and found that every item I needed was in a different box, each one tidily sealed and tucked away in the bedroom. I was mumbling about wanting better access to the basics. Michal, meanwhile, grumbled about unpacking things only to have to repack them again. It occurred to us that we were each leaping to conclusions about what the other was prioritizing during this time of uncertainty, so we talked it through.

While we’re both fairly go-with-the-flow in general, when faced with uncertainty we tend to gravitate toward different coping mechanisms. I try to make everything as easy and functional as possible during upheaval; Michal strives for efficiency. In this situation, I wanted kitchen boxes near the kitchen so I could pull items out, use them, and repack with ease. Michal wanted the efficiency of having packed once and not opening the boxes again until we are in the new place. I had assumed he was worried about the aesthetic of having boxes scattered across all the rooms rather than tidily stowed in one, while he assumed I wanted to unpack items from the kitchen, leave them out, and we would have to repack them again later. Talking it through clarified that we were both working from incorrect assumptions. It turns out we can keep things packed and tidy, and I can use kitchen items and repack them as needed.

We also figure that if the temporary location of kitchen utensils is our biggest grievance after three years of waiting to move into our new apartment, we are doing just fine!

Please cross your fingers that we have keys to our new home by end of day tomorrow!

Projects and Events

During the five author talks and signings we did over the last month, I had so many conversations with people who wish they had learned their parents’ stories while they had the chance. Others wondered aloud what they might do with old letters, photographs, recipes and the like to document their relatives’ lives – or their own – for future generations. This led to further conversations on how I might use what I’ve learned through writing my own parents’ story to help others do the same. The ideas have been swirling after two months of repeated conversations about the hunger for inspiration and support around capturing family stories, and I’m fairly certain I’ll turn these musings into a project.

I’m curious – within your family, has someone documented stories in interesting ways that can be shared across relatives and generations? I’m not only talking about books; perhaps you’ve preserved treasured recipes, cataloged art, or digitized photographs, scrapbooks, journals, or other mementos. I’d love to hear what you’ve done to keep your family stories alive.

Alongside these percolating ideas, I’m also continuing to peck away at the outline for the novel I have brewing, so I don’t think I’ll run out of things to do any time soon!

Writing

Speaking of the novel, I’m learning that fiction writing requires a great deal of research. As I wrote first my own memoir and then my parents’ stories, I was continually researching as I went. I confirmed dates, locations, makes and models of cars and airplanes, and current events within the places and periods the stories were set. When something surfaced in my journal or an interview that caught my attention, I’d research it before drafting the narrative for that particular vignette.

As I began outlining my novel, I knew research would be part of the process. What I didn’t anticipate was how front-loaded it would need to be. Unlike memoir, I couldn’t even draft the outline without first doing a deep-dive into the practice of hypnotherapy – what I learn will directly shape the story arc. It’s a fascinating difference from what I’m used to, and I’m eager to see where the path leads. As always, I’ll share the journey with you along the way.

Photography

Although I hauled my camera and drone to Canada, I didn’t get many opportunities to use either. I did, however, use my cellphone quite a bit – particularly while walking around New Westminster. It crossed my mind that New West, like many Canadian towns and cities, is built for drivers rather than pedestrians. It’s not uncommon to walk several blocks without encountering another soul on foot, which I find strange, given that many of the streets are tree-lined and shady, with wide sidewalks and beautiful flowers planted in the boulevards.

Contrast that with Porto, where people walk everywhere – yet there’s nary a tree or flower to be seen outside of parks, and the sidewalks are narrow. As I luxuriated on those wide sidewalks under a canopy of trees, I found myself stopping to look closely at the flowers along the way. Here is a selection of my favourites:

I did manage to fly Frodo the drone a few times as well. My skills on the controls are still shaky but improving. Beyond the regulations, I’m also quite mindful about disturbing people or wildlife, so I tend to wait for quiet, out of the way spots to get a quick flight in.

Here is a short flight in over the Oyster River on Vancouver Island:

And here are two quick flights at twilight over Nancy Greene Lake:

We have a road trip planned for August across the north of Spain, and I expect I will find a few opportunities to fly there, too.

Final Thoughts

As I conclude this, I should share that it was a struggle to write. Although we obviously have a lot going on, I didn’t know how to express it. I think that may be another symptom of being in a time of flux. It is both unsettling and exhilarating to be standing at a threshold. As we were in the early days of preparing for our move here, and the first months after we arrived, the “milestones” came fast and furious – we opened a bank account, we got a tax number, we got a social security number, we got our residency. For some reason, buying the apartment feels like a milestone that has eluded us for so long, and now that it’s nearly concluded, I’m left feeling more disorienting than I did during all the other steps in the journey.

Here’s hoping that in the next dispatch, I’ll be sharing the happy news that we have moved in and all is well!

Até a próxima,

Kathy

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If you enjoy true stories about interesting lives, By Happenstance is available in paperback and ebook.

My memoir, Resilience in the Rubble, is also available in paperback, ebook and audiobook.